Blueberry muffins

I can't believe it! In just a few days, we will be in North Carolina, in the town that we're planning to move to. Most people think we're crazy and I admit - picking out a town online and deciding "Hey! Let's move there!" is probably a bit out of the ordinary. I feel lucky though. Lucky that we're still young and our options are wide open. Neither of us have ever felt tied to the towns we grew up in; we always envisioned ourselves living somewhere else.

South Jersey isn't as bad as "Jersey Shore" makes it out to be. There are a lot of down to earth, nice people in the town I moved from. It definitely has its fair share of Snookies and The Situation's, though. Dating was impossible there. Once I went on a date with a guy who said he was a soil scientist. Trying to start conversation, I pointed to the ground next to us (we were at an ice cream parlor) and said "What type of soil is that?" (I know.. it was a lame question, but that's just a reflection of the type of conversation we were (weren't) having) and he said "DIRT." I think that was when I started dating foreign guys (which had its own BIG problems, *cough* green cards, *cough*)... and then I landed here in Jacksonville, met my sexy West Virginian and my NJ dating woes finally came to an end. But anyway!

South Jersey... in the Summers, it's packed with tourists - people from Philly who come with their beach chairs and sunscreen, after repeatedly bragging to friends back home "We're going to the SHORE." They walk the boardwalk like they own it. I haven't been to the boardwalk in awhile..after the first 30 times, it loses its appeal. It becomes nothing more than some wooden planks and over-priced salt water taffy. If you've heard something about Jersey's beaches being unsightly or dirty, you heard right. They're overcrowded. The last time I went I put my towel down and three seconds later a group of teenagers stepped right over it. That's when I gave myself permission to stop pretending I liked the beach. I don't - it's hot, the sand gets everywhere (on the towels, in your food, in the car) and there's something gross about under-aged girls in bikinis and old dirty men with glasses in the same sentence. If somehow I acquire my own private island, I'll go now & then. I'll leave NJ's beaches for people a little more "Jersey" than me.

When I was 8 years old my parents took me to the mountains in Maine. We did a little bit of hiking and ate a lot of lobster. I remember looking at the mountains, feeling smaller than I'd ever felt in my life, and thinking "I want to live here someday." I was so taken aback by them. The people in Maine were so friendly. People smiled, people waved. I felt like I was in a whole different world. That started my obsession with drawing log cabins in my school notebooks. I was never much of an artist, but I'd draw them every chance I got and just stare at them. I'd imagine myself living there, with a beautiful yard with acres and acres of land. 

I've dreamed up all types of things since then - being a famous singer, an actress, an occupational therapist, a traveling photographer, owning my own business, running off to some other country... but truth be told, my biggest dream is probably also the simplest of all of them. 

I want to bake blueberry muffins in the mountains somewhere.

 I'm serious! That's it. That's all.

And the older (and sicker, let's be honest-) I get, the more it appeals to me. Sure, I still want a lot of things for myself. I want to write a book. I want to start a business. But more than all of those things, I just want a quiet, simple life. 

Dustin had me laughing the other day. He was explaining why he likes taking walks so much and he said "I'm a simpleton! I just walk along and smile at nothing. I just like to walk." Apparently some security guards at an office building he passed by thought that he looked suspicious. They saw how he was taking everything in, just observing the palm trees, the pond, the traffic on the other side. They thought he wanted to rob the building. They were disappointed when they all they found in his backpack was a Subway sandwich. 

But that's what life is about, isn't it? (No, not Subway sandwiches.) Just taking everything in, the little, simple things, and enjoying them. At the end of the day, when my health has ruined my plans and it feels like it's interfering with absolutely everything, I still have the simple, beautiful moments. I still have Ginley next to me, all warm, with his little brown eyes. I still have the sunlight pouring through the window in my bedroom. I can still feel the softness of my blankets and the closeness of Dustin when he holds me. 

I hope we go to this town and love it. There is no "perfect" town. There's no perfect anything, but I'm proud of us for making a decision that a lot of people never even consider. We really had to look into our hearts and ask ourselves what was most important to us and what would really accommodate our health. It was an amazing feeling to realize that there were choices we could make that could benefit us, could change our lives even. 

We get homesick a lot and our families will always be one of the most important things to us, but we need to build a life that is ours. We need a chance to figure out what's going to be best for us, as a young couple, but not just any young couple - one facing the obstacles of chronic illness. 

Life is an adventure and I'm so happy that despite how sick we are sometimes, we still let it be one.

I can't wait! North Carolina, here we come!